Love is in the air this February of 2022. What better reason for Katherine Vessenes and Dr. Kristy McAteer to discuss Doctors, Love, and Money.

Study’s show that a prevalent reason for divorce in America is persistent arguing over money, though this type of argument isn’t just limited to a spouse or partner. Love and money can be very painful at times.

This is why we strongly suggest you have a money conversation before marriage. It contributes to the overall transparency and candor of your relationship, and it can aid in planning for your futures together.

Questions to ask your partner:

How did your parents treat money growing up, and how did that impact you? Some people adopt the same habits as their parents or are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

What are your feelings about debt?

What is your investment philosophy?

How much can you/do you save per month?

Do you have an emergency fund; how much is right for you?

How much debt do you have, and what kind? What is your plan to get out of debt?

When would you like to be financially independent, and what is your plan to get there?

What is your plan for children? What does childcare look like? Education?

Do you see us combining our finances? If not, why? How are we filing taxes?

Who is going to manage these finances?

Toxic Money Relationships

Saver vs. Spender : Sometimes we see in relationships, one is the saver–one is the spender. This unbalance (in extreme) is not sustainable, and there needs to be a middle-ground reached.

Guilt-er : We often hear about parents of doctors that guilt their child into supporting them because they make “so much money”, or siblings of doctors guilting the doctor to contribute a larger share to their parents' long-term care because they can “afford it”.

Divorcee: Divorced doctors are dealing with ex-spouses that, on occasion, cannot handle money responsibly. With their legal obligation to their spouse, and effort to support their child, the doctor may be stretched beyond their means. Even a new spouse may end up contributing to the ex of their spouse.

Addict: Addiction/vices of your spouse or children can be devastating to your family, and treatment programs, medical bills and debts of the individual really add up. Set firm boundaries for your own wellbeing, and setting up a trust for the child is an option.

Getting in sync with your lifelong partner is crucial for a healthy relationship and stable financials. We’ve seen these issues tear couples apart and that is so incredibly devastating.

While we’re no marriage counselors, we’ve aided in forming financial resolutions that both parties can agree with. If you’re struggling with these conversations, reach out! Because, “money may not buy love, but fighting about it will bankrupt your relationship” - Michelle Singletary.

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Remember that you can send us any questions at: Info@MDFinancialAdvisors.com

Katherine Vessenes, JD, CFP®, is the founder and CEO of MD Financial Advisors who serve 500 doctors from Hawaii to Cape Cod. An award-winning Financial Advisor, Attorney, Certified Financial Planner®, author and speaker, she is devoted to bringing ethical advice to physicians and dentists. She can be reached at Katherine@mdfinancialadvisors.com.